leveling the playing field ...

once i accepted that my branch of the family tree was as depressed as a lot of the other ones, i was able to get some help and "level the playing field" in terms of my emotional health. yes, that involved some little pills - ones i had fought trying for years. but the results were so immediate, and so profound, i can not deny the absolute need for them in my life. some people don't need meds to overcome depression. some people only need them for a short time to get over a hurdle. and some people (like me) will probably need them forever. this is not a bad thing - it just is.

likewise, weight issues (whether it be anorexia, bulimia, overeating) often contain a genetic component. and once again, some people don't need any help, some people can conquer these problems with moderate intervention and support in making new choices. and some people need radical help to overcome their challenges. once again, i have come to accept i am in the last category.

for over a year now, i have been meeting with a registered nurse, a psychologist, a dietitian, and a physiotherapist. for the most part, i have done what they have asked of me - and when i have fallen short of their expectations, i have redoubled my efforts to improve in the future. i have attended 9 classes that have taught me much about nutrition, movement, lifestyle choices, and the emotional component of my over eating. i have also attended 10 weeks of an emotional eating support group - gaining great insights and adding to my store of skills. and yet ... i have not lost any weight. indeed, in the beginning, i gained and am now maintaining at the highest i have ever been. GACK.

my point? just as medication leveled the playing field mentally, i am confident medical intervention will level the playing field when it comes to food. to this end, i am aiming to have bariatric surgery. there are three main types of surgery that are available, and each has benefits and drawbacks - and none "fix" the problem. you still need to watch what you eat. in fact, if you don't choose to eat in a healthful way, you will see even more severe consequences than before surgery - because you will have no "reserves" to fall back on.

it has been determined by my team of health care professionals that i need to complete the excavation of my pyramid before i take the step of surgery, and even though i am frustrated and a little depressed at the delay, i know this is the right way to move forward. i am not sure what this means for this here bloggy-thingy, but i plan to check back in while i am "on hold" ...